Welcome,
This week I have been tested by a 17 year old from Gorgan in Iran. World guru, I am not. The correspondence began when she made a comment on my page questioning my remark, 'love and peace, worth a try'. Before I replied, she removed the comment and replaced it with a 'I see you can't be bothered to reply' remark.'
No, in this case you are talking like a human being who knows that people aren't as good at loving as they say they are. If you hear me talking about my government you would see my lack of love...And no, we can't always control our feelings but our job then is to feel them and not to avoid them by blaming someone else for them....You know on this site I have learned that Iranian women are much better educated and thoughtful than many british women.
HER: October 24, 2013 2:39pm
(Again she complained how hard she was working and how no-one would want to listn to her 'stupid ideas'. )
Also, just maybe, we can feel some compassion for humankind. No other creature is burdened with having to work out what the right thing to do is.
And if i think of anything more helpful to say i'll let you know..
..oh yes, i worry about you worrying too much about your work and exams. It is a horrible pressure to always have in the back of your mind. I've never thought exams were a good idea. I remember being expelled from school once, just before the exams. I was so happy because i wasn't then allowed to do the exams. (And then i was unhappy because i had to do them a year later.)
Anyway, I better not start remembering things or we'll be here for years and years...
HER: October 27th, 2013, 6.30pm
hehhe john ...i have a question ....... when u meet people or hear about them in the news or on internet what makes u say that someone is a great person ? what about an individual makes u think that he or she is havin a useful life?
You've got me thinking about this one.
I don't think I have met or believe in 'a great person.' I may have met people who are great at doing something in particular or in demonstrating some particular quality - but equally they will have stuff they are totally shit at or demonstrate qualities which we loathe.
How philosophical do you want me to be? Because i tend to question the idea that we are 'persons' in the way we are taught.
Also persons change a lot, from moment to moment, from mood to mood, between thoughts, and they are molded by circumstances. Great today, hopeless tomorrow..
The second question is easier to answer. It doesn't matter to me if someone's life is useful. Useful is a lot to ask and hard to judge.
A lot of people have been asked just before they die what regrets they have. Three answers are most common...
1. i wish i had worked less hard
2. i wish i had been just a little bit nicer to my friends
3. I wish i'd chased my dreams just a little more.
Do not be sorry. I don't think your questions are silly. If they were silly, I wouldn't answer. It is more likely that my answers are silly because I don't know you and the circumstances of your life. All I can do is treat you like my own daughter, or grand-daughter, and be as honest as I can while nurturing the flower of humanity that I believe you to be.
When I was your age, I thought life was miserable and I wanted nothing to do with it. Twice I tried to commit suicide. It seemed to me that most people were stupid and spent their lives believing in idiotic things and pretending to be nice. Now I still think much the same.
So I ask myself, what is different now, and how have I managed to live 60 years with a certain amount of joy?
The main answer is perspective. The world doesn’t change much but your point of view can change. Looked at in one way, life looks a bowl of shit, looked at another way, it is an unfolding journey towards freedom.
Also, there is a word called ‘apophenia’. Apophenia is when you look at what seems a mess and then suddenly see the pattern in something that makes it clear. For example, you are looking at something that from the distance looks like a snake. You feel fear. Then you see that it is only a piece of rope and the fear goes. In the same way, you look at life and see a chaotic mess, then you look again and see the patterns.
I want to tell you that life will turn out good for you but obviously I don’t know whether this is true. Yes, we find ourselves in circumstances not of our choosing and with so much has already being decided (like our gender & bodies & the society we’re born into). The challenge then is to find out what power of change you have.
When I was 20, I read books which told me that there were ‘mystics’ in all traditions who told of an inner experience available to mankind; this experience has characteristics; when you have it, you feel oneness with everything, you feel free and joyful and you realize the ‘person’ you thought yourself to be is just a misperception.
At certain times I have had that experience and that has been what has saved me from permanent despair.
So, it has taken me 12 hours to come up with this answer. I don’t suppose it helps much but I want you to know that things (for you) can get better.
Write whenever you want, ask whatever questions you want, you are entitled to answers and help.
best wishes
John
HER: October 30th, 6.20pm,
mmm...well yes you r an experienced man but mmm...have you always been like mmm not so much connected with others? mmm i mean how exactly people around you were connected to u ?mmm
i know you r right but i guess as u said u dont know me so u try to talk in general and give some useful answers ..eveything seems so meaningless although we can actually find some patterns ...human builds everything makes rules and follow them makes religions and believes in them mm are they the the things that gives the population of mankind some patterns?imean beside their instincts ...actually they are even based on our instinct... the whole religious and war problems mmmmmmmm....whats the point ..? i mean we are deeply drowned in our emotions everyday we cant see how much useless they are ....we still are jealous about our friends or nag at small problems or ...mm then i think when u start to think more and care less about useless stuff your gonna get nearer to the great person u have in ur mind but the problem is i cant find somethin useful to care about ...thats why i messaged u and noticed ur note about love and etc. ....
when u look at different problems and thoughts around u you can find patterns yeah u can find reasons ...and u can find solutions but when u suddenly start to ruin the pattern with a problem then it seems meaningless ....
like
u think about a guy whos from a middle-class family he is born and learns from his family and he starts to know the world better he faces problems at school at knowing his opposite sex at studyin at findin jobs and....
these all make his personality then by knowing about all his life you can realize what kind of a man hes gonna be in his 60s but suddenly you imagine he dies when hes 22 ....then what ? all of these was useless ......mm..
This week I have been tested by a 17 year old from Gorgan in Iran. World guru, I am not. The correspondence began when she made a comment on my page questioning my remark, 'love and peace, worth a try'. Before I replied, she removed the comment and replaced it with a 'I see you can't be bothered to reply' remark.'
And now your
comment has gone! Not so patient!
yes it is difficult to love, very very difficult, especially the people who are damaging us or our loved ones. What we try and love is their beingness and their ultimate identity with us; we don't have to love their behaviours and personalities...
..certainly we can strive to change what our passion wants us to change but it is better to focus on what we want to create and not in hating what is presently there.
Does that make any sense to you?
I visited your country in 1976 and would love to do so again. The women of Iran seem to be remarkably well educated.
best wishes
John
yes it is difficult to love, very very difficult, especially the people who are damaging us or our loved ones. What we try and love is their beingness and their ultimate identity with us; we don't have to love their behaviours and personalities...
..certainly we can strive to change what our passion wants us to change but it is better to focus on what we want to create and not in hating what is presently there.
Does that make any sense to you?
I visited your country in 1976 and would love to do so again. The women of Iran seem to be remarkably well educated.
best wishes
John
Have you
accepted my apology for being slow to reply?
HER: October 15,
20137:05pm
aw yes of course ..u didnt need to apologize i was too fast to judge you :/
aw yes of course ..u didnt need to apologize i was too fast to judge you :/
hm
....:P1976 is 37 yrs ago....mmm...it makes sense but not always is true ..i
mean humans feelings are much more complicated we cant always control it and
even i can say that we must not...could u love hitler? :p.......hm am i talking
like a not experienced young girl?
No, in this case you are talking like a human being who knows that people aren't as good at loving as they say they are. If you hear me talking about my government you would see my lack of love...And no, we can't always control our feelings but our job then is to feel them and not to avoid them by blaming someone else for them....You know on this site I have learned that Iranian women are much better educated and thoughtful than many british women.
37 years,
you are right. Iran had a Shah. I was offered a job in Teheran but didn't
accept it. I want to go back and see more of the country...You are going to
University, yes?
HER: October 17th, 2013. 6.01pm
(Text missing but she was saying how hard she is working because going on to further education is really important. She asked me to wish her luck in the exams.)
HER: October 17th, 2013. 6.01pm
(Text missing but she was saying how hard she is working because going on to further education is really important. She asked me to wish her luck in the exams.)
ME: October 17th, 2013, 8.00pm
Yes, I do wish you luck and I really hope it works out for you. If you get a chance, remember to take some deep breaths and give yourself a little time. When will you know the results?
HER: October 19, 2013:10pm
heheh and iv learned that iranian guys are really stupid and they are just leaving comments on stupid naked girls pics so oo ....maybe educated girls are not enough while they all should soon drown in a stupid life which everyone think is a real life of an educated couple but both man and woman are having problems in their relationship"S" ...
ME: October 20th, 2013, 8.00 am
Men are the same the world over, I think. Much of their (our) behaviour is driven by sexual desire but they pretend it is not.It makes them foolish, deceitful and a little ashamed. Also men are scared of women so they invent rules to try and control them. Women have a tough job in the world.
Yes, I do wish you luck and I really hope it works out for you. If you get a chance, remember to take some deep breaths and give yourself a little time. When will you know the results?
HER: October 19, 2013:10pm
heheh and iv learned that iranian guys are really stupid and they are just leaving comments on stupid naked girls pics so oo ....maybe educated girls are not enough while they all should soon drown in a stupid life which everyone think is a real life of an educated couple but both man and woman are having problems in their relationship"S" ...
ME: October 20th, 2013, 8.00 am
Men are the same the world over, I think. Much of their (our) behaviour is driven by sexual desire but they pretend it is not.It makes them foolish, deceitful and a little ashamed. Also men are scared of women so they invent rules to try and control them. Women have a tough job in the world.
HER: October 24, 2013 2:39pm
(Again she complained how hard she was working and how no-one would want to listn to her 'stupid ideas'. )
ME: October 24th, 2013, 8.00pm
Do I know your name?
I looked up Gorgan on youtube and have watched some videos of the area.
Of course you must talk and think and express your stupid ideas; it is your world after all and your life you are living. Stupid ideas seem very popular in the world so I am sure we can make room for yours. Some of your stupid ideas might be better than our stupid ideas. It is a perfect world for stupid ideas because there are a lot of stupid people to believe the stupid ideas.
All you have to do is make your stupid ideas sound sensible. This is why we are educating you. We will tell you all the stupid ideas we can think of and then we will examine you to find out a) whether you can remember the ideas and b) whether you can make them sound sensible.
If you pass our exam we will welcome you into our stupid society and then you can do whatever you like with your stupid ideas.
Love, Peace and other stupid ideas,
John.
Do I know your name?
I looked up Gorgan on youtube and have watched some videos of the area.
Of course you must talk and think and express your stupid ideas; it is your world after all and your life you are living. Stupid ideas seem very popular in the world so I am sure we can make room for yours. Some of your stupid ideas might be better than our stupid ideas. It is a perfect world for stupid ideas because there are a lot of stupid people to believe the stupid ideas.
All you have to do is make your stupid ideas sound sensible. This is why we are educating you. We will tell you all the stupid ideas we can think of and then we will examine you to find out a) whether you can remember the ideas and b) whether you can make them sound sensible.
If you pass our exam we will welcome you into our stupid society and then you can do whatever you like with your stupid ideas.
Love, Peace and other stupid ideas,
John.
ME: October 26th, 2013, 7.35pm
Well, there are some good ideas in the world too (liberty, fraternity, equality, chocolate, sometimes not killing each other, clean water, having food at the market etc) and moments inside ourselves which we value and enjoy. We can put our energy into the good ideas and try to create something better.
Also, just maybe, we can feel some compassion for humankind. No other creature is burdened with having to work out what the right thing to do is.
And if i think of anything more helpful to say i'll let you know..
..oh yes, i worry about you worrying too much about your work and exams. It is a horrible pressure to always have in the back of your mind. I've never thought exams were a good idea. I remember being expelled from school once, just before the exams. I was so happy because i wasn't then allowed to do the exams. (And then i was unhappy because i had to do them a year later.)
Anyway, I better not start remembering things or we'll be here for years and years...
HER: October 27th, 2013, 6.30pm
hehhe john ...i have a question ....... when u meet people or hear about them in the news or on internet what makes u say that someone is a great person ? what about an individual makes u think that he or she is havin a useful life?
ME: October 29th, 2013, 5.00 pm
You've got me thinking about this one.
I don't think I have met or believe in 'a great person.' I may have met people who are great at doing something in particular or in demonstrating some particular quality - but equally they will have stuff they are totally shit at or demonstrate qualities which we loathe.
How philosophical do you want me to be? Because i tend to question the idea that we are 'persons' in the way we are taught.
Also persons change a lot, from moment to moment, from mood to mood, between thoughts, and they are molded by circumstances. Great today, hopeless tomorrow..
The second question is easier to answer. It doesn't matter to me if someone's life is useful. Useful is a lot to ask and hard to judge.
A lot of people have been asked just before they die what regrets they have. Three answers are most common...
1. i wish i had worked less hard
2. i wish i had been just a little bit nicer to my friends
3. I wish i'd chased my dreams just a little more.
HER:October 28, 20135:18pm
hmmm ..im not actually having the
life i want im like a small bird goin from one tree to another trying to
find a home mmm yeah and i believe that at the end the only thing that
will control us is the condition we are brought up in ....mmm .....
mm when u ask" how philosophical u want me to be?" what exactly do u mean? can u convince yourself to be more like a philosopher in a situation and less in another?
can we ever be great enough? great enough and no more controlled by conditions?
how much chance your gonna have to be better than what youv ever been when your not taught to be a better person?
:/ maybe my questions sound silly to u ...but im facin hard days ....so im sorry
mm when u ask" how philosophical u want me to be?" what exactly do u mean? can u convince yourself to be more like a philosopher in a situation and less in another?
can we ever be great enough? great enough and no more controlled by conditions?
how much chance your gonna have to be better than what youv ever been when your not taught to be a better person?
:/ maybe my questions sound silly to u ...but im facin hard days ....so im sorry
ME:October 29, 2013, 9:07am
Hello nameless one,
Do not be sorry. I don't think your questions are silly. If they were silly, I wouldn't answer. It is more likely that my answers are silly because I don't know you and the circumstances of your life. All I can do is treat you like my own daughter, or grand-daughter, and be as honest as I can while nurturing the flower of humanity that I believe you to be.
When I was your age, I thought life was miserable and I wanted nothing to do with it. Twice I tried to commit suicide. It seemed to me that most people were stupid and spent their lives believing in idiotic things and pretending to be nice. Now I still think much the same.
So I ask myself, what is different now, and how have I managed to live 60 years with a certain amount of joy?
The main answer is perspective. The world doesn’t change much but your point of view can change. Looked at in one way, life looks a bowl of shit, looked at another way, it is an unfolding journey towards freedom.
Also, there is a word called ‘apophenia’. Apophenia is when you look at what seems a mess and then suddenly see the pattern in something that makes it clear. For example, you are looking at something that from the distance looks like a snake. You feel fear. Then you see that it is only a piece of rope and the fear goes. In the same way, you look at life and see a chaotic mess, then you look again and see the patterns.
I want to tell you that life will turn out good for you but obviously I don’t know whether this is true. Yes, we find ourselves in circumstances not of our choosing and with so much has already being decided (like our gender & bodies & the society we’re born into). The challenge then is to find out what power of change you have.
When I was 20, I read books which told me that there were ‘mystics’ in all traditions who told of an inner experience available to mankind; this experience has characteristics; when you have it, you feel oneness with everything, you feel free and joyful and you realize the ‘person’ you thought yourself to be is just a misperception.
At certain times I have had that experience and that has been what has saved me from permanent despair.
So, it has taken me 12 hours to come up with this answer. I don’t suppose it helps much but I want you to know that things (for you) can get better.
Write whenever you want, ask whatever questions you want, you are entitled to answers and help.
best wishes
John
HER: October 30th, 6.20pm,
mmm...well yes you r an experienced man but mmm...have you always been like mmm not so much connected with others? mmm i mean how exactly people around you were connected to u ?mmm
i know you r right but i guess as u said u dont know me so u try to talk in general and give some useful answers ..eveything seems so meaningless although we can actually find some patterns ...human builds everything makes rules and follow them makes religions and believes in them mm are they the the things that gives the population of mankind some patterns?imean beside their instincts ...actually they are even based on our instinct... the whole religious and war problems mmmmmmmm....whats the point ..? i mean we are deeply drowned in our emotions everyday we cant see how much useless they are ....we still are jealous about our friends or nag at small problems or ...mm then i think when u start to think more and care less about useless stuff your gonna get nearer to the great person u have in ur mind but the problem is i cant find somethin useful to care about ...thats why i messaged u and noticed ur note about love and etc. ....
when u look at different problems and thoughts around u you can find patterns yeah u can find reasons ...and u can find solutions but when u suddenly start to ruin the pattern with a problem then it seems meaningless ....
like
u think about a guy whos from a middle-class family he is born and learns from his family and he starts to know the world better he faces problems at school at knowing his opposite sex at studyin at findin jobs and....
these all make his personality then by knowing about all his life you can realize what kind of a man hes gonna be in his 60s but suddenly you imagine he dies when hes 22 ....then what ? all of these was useless ......mm..
ME: October 30th, 2013, 9.25pm
“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.”
“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.”
― Rumi
Once more, I
cannot deny that your view of the world is one I can recognize and share. Everything
you see is part of the picture and is real but the picture is infinitely large and
can be seen from so many perspectives. Your perspective will change, from day
to day, from mood to mood, from situation to situation, from role to role, from
experience to experience. A question then can be, how much can you deliberately
change your experience by changing your perspective, your thoughts, your
feelings and your behaviours? To what extent can we escape the noose of our
conditioning?
A lot
depends on what we put our attention on.
Before
becoming entirely fatalistic about the human condition, you need to be sure you
have explored it and yourself thoroughly. If you were doing one of my courses,
my aim would not to be to convince you of anything, or to lecture you about how
things are, but to give you some ‘tools’ with which to explore your own
consciousness. These ‘tools’ are simple
mental exercises which can gradually alter our perspective, our conditioning,
our ability to create and our perception of self.
…I am not
sure what you mean about my connection with other people. Maybe you could ask
again?
-- It is
true that generally people are happier if they feel life has meaning or a
point. On the other hand, when we are happy we don’t really care whether it has
a point or a meaning. Does being need a point? Does the beauty of a flower need
meaning? Only the human mind seems to need meaning.
--I suppose
with any death, young or old, the question is who dies? What dies? Are we more
than our physical bodies?
…I’m also
not sure what you meant by you can’t find anything useful to care about. Could
you explain?
….
I would like
to know more about you and your life but I respect your right not to tell me.
